Visiting the Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck
“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
― Mark Manson
On Friday I had the pleasure of going to the live show of Mark Manson, who authored the book "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*uck - A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life". It was especially pleasurable because I was not going on my own, but with two other wonderful women - and we made a good evening out of it.
We had high expectations. I had read book a couple of years ago and found it equally refreshing, motivating and thought-provoking.
Cleverly, the book cover is a bright orange, which stands out on each bookshelf. The slightly feather-ruffling title surely also helped to make this book a hit. In the book he questions conventional wisdom on what makes us humans happy. He especially examines how an overemphasis on positivity can make us actually pretty unhappy.
In the show, he did not say "f*ck" or other expletives as often I thought he would, in fact, hardly at all - given the book title was also the title of the show. Mr. Manson wrote the book in 2015, he might have become bored by being predictable.
I want to give you some of the highlights I picked up:
Everything in life is a trade-off (what is good for one thing is not so good for another)
Happiness is nearer when life is treated as an experiment (reduces our expectation to "get it right" - because who actually knows...?)
All outcomes from our experiences in life are just data (which we can use for future decision-making)
We will be successful in those things in life we are willing to suffer for (also an indicator of what is a true personal value)
We were amazed at how many males had chosen to show up. That kind of self-help event usually does not seem to attract many bros, but here, they were even queueing behind the microphones at Q&A Time at a ratio of 10:2.
After the event, we were wondering what the key message was. We did not leave the evening particularly enlightened, but pretty sure that spending an evening listening to some thought-provoking stuff in good company is definitely a winner.
Speaking of trade-offs, spending an evening out with friends means no snuggling up on the couch with or without a significant other or furry companion. It means getting into gear after the work of the day is done, maybe even reshuffling itineraries. We trade off foreseeable comfort for new experiences. Are you willing to struggle for new experiences? Once we see it through the lens that everything is a trade-off, we can have an answer to our mind chatter going: "sounds like a struggle - no, thank you". If everything comes with a price tag anyway, we can simply choose which struggle we are willing to go with.
Procrastinating on something? What is the struggle you are trying to avoid? And what struggle are you choosing through your in-action on that matter instead?
It made me mindful of what it is I am willing to struggle for - and what not.
My invitation to you today:
Contemplate what you are willing to struggle for today and completely embrace it
Notice how that feels
This is your time.
With the intention of not giving a f*uck about the struggle of folding all my washing
Yours kindly
Mel
