Allow that feeling
“Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment.
It is part of the isness of the Now.
You can’t argue with what is.
Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.”
—Eckhart Tolle
The 6th of October was a day I have been looking forward to for a long time. For a year actually. If you do not want to read anything about menopause or emotions, this is the moment to swap to a different read!
I marked the 6th of October 2024 in my calendar as the day I (hopefully) reach menopause.
Menopause is defined as one moment in time when a woman has not had her period for 12 consecutive months. That's right, menopause is only the briefest of moments. Before that moment, the woman was peri-menopausal and after that moment the woman will be post-menopausal until the day she dies.
Those dreaded symptoms may occur already years before that magic moment and tragically, also for years after. Some women breeze through it, others suffer a lot. If you want to read more about the details and ways to get help, have a look at some of the resources below. In nearly two weeks, on October 18th, it is World Menopause Day by the way.
Back to my story.
The highly anticipated 6th of October came around and... I was overwhelmed by emotions. Just not of the celebratory kind I thought I'd have.
Quite untypical, I had a sense of worthlessness. I cried my eyes out. I was sobbing.
What really annoyed me about it was that I knew I had absolutely no reason to feel like that. That made it even harder.
Luckily, my very well trained husband dropped the breakfast preparation after my demand for a hug and sat down beside me (a safe distance apart) and watched me bawling my eyes out. I tried to explain myself between sobs. Then he said: Just let it happen what you feel. It is ok. He waited there patiently.
Weirdly, the moment I gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling, I was ok with it. It was as if a big dark cloud that had held me hostage finally decided to turn into a warm summer rain and there was a rainbow on the other side.
I got hungry.
The husband continued with breakfast preparations.
The dark cloud kept coming that day. It also rained down and the rainbow showed. I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling. I was kind to myself by observing my emotions patiently. Luckily it was Sunday...
By the way: I will celebrate tonight.
So whether you or someone else you know is going through the ups and downs of menopause transition, if you are dealing with difficult emotions, maybe try and feel them, instead of explaining them. What we cannot change, we might as well accept.
My invitation to you (when you are experiencing difficult emotions):
Ask yourself
What are you feeling right now?
How intense is the feeling? (maybe rate it on scale from 0-10)
Where in your body do you feel it and how?
Focus on it for 10 to 30 seconds, without trying to change it or analysing it
When your mind wanders, go back to that feeling
Take three calm breaths
How intense is the feeling now? (maybe rate it on scale from 0-10)
This is your time. Be kind to yourself.
With appreciation for the journey called life
Mel
